You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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