he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I see more hoeing in ur future
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