Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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