i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
