My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize