is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
