this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
