I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
