Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the day after is always just damage control
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
