Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize