Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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