O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
