I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
