when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
