So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
