people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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