i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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