all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
