Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
