i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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