Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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