non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
