sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
