I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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