and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
