its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
