Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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