i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize