I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
