Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
