So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
