this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize