Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
