I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
