Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
