i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
