Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
