that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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