i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
