i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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