The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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