I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I could fuck to npr.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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