It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
