Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
