Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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