addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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