She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize