my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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