Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
