What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
