I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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