I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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