I don't think brook has ever known best
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize