good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
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