New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're like the curious george of whores
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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