do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
