seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
