Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize